Helping Your Child with ADHD Improve Self-Awareness

What is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is the ability to understand and recognize your own feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and their impact on others.

It helps individuals evaluate whether their actions align with their goals or expectations.

For example, a self-aware child might realize, “I’m talking too loudly in class” or “I forgot to do my homework because I got distracted.”

Challenges with Self-Awareness in Children with ADHD

Children with ADHD often struggle with self-awareness due to difficulties with executive function. They may:

• Be unaware of how their behaviors affect others.
• Forget to check if they’re following instructions or meeting expectations.
• Struggle to notice patterns in their actions, such as getting distracted during homework.

These challenges are not due to a lack of intelligence or effort but rather how their brains process and manage information.

Tips to Help Your Child Improve Self-Awareness

1. Set a Good Example
   Children learn by observing adults. Show them how self-awareness looks in action.
   • Example: If you lose your temper, acknowledge it: “I was upset earlier and raised my voice. Next time, I’ll take a deep breath before responding.”
   • Talk about your own check-ins: “I’ve been spending too much time on my phone; I’m going to set it aside and focus on family time.”

2. Ask Thoughtful Questions
   Help your child reflect on their feelings, strengths, and behaviors by asking open-ended questions.
   • Examples:
     • “What’s your favorite thing to do at school? Why?”
     • “What are you really good at? What’s something you’d like to improve on?”
     • “How did you feel about the way you handled sharing toys with your friends today?”
   • This encourages self-reflection and helps them begin to recognize their strengths and areas for growth.

3. Teach the “Stop, Look, and Listen” Technique
   Encourage your child to pause during tasks or social interactions to check in with themselves.
   • Steps:
     1. Stop: Take a moment to pause.
     2. Look: Check if you’re doing what you’re supposed to.
     3. Listen: Pay attention to any feedback or reminders.
   • Reinforce with Rewards: Create a points system. For example:
     • Add points when your child stays on task or follows instructions.
     • Subtract points if they get distracted or don’t meet expectations.
     • Points can be redeemed for small rewards like extra screen time or a treat.

4. Use Cues and Reminders
   Visual and auditory cues can help your child stay aware of their behavior and actions.
   • Examples:
     • Use pictures or charts to show steps for completing tasks, like getting ready for school or cleaning their room.
     • Set a phone buzzer to remind them to check their progress during homework.
     • Record your child during a play session with friends and review it together later, pointing out moments where they did well and areas to improve.

5. Incorporate a Bedtime Review
   Make self-awareness part of your nightly routine. Spend a few minutes reviewing your child’s day.
   • Questions to Ask:
     • “What went really well today?”
     • “Was there anything you could have done differently?”
     • “What’s one thing you’re proud of today?”
   • This helps your child reflect on their actions and recognize patterns over time.

Why This Matters

Improving self-awareness takes time and practice, but it’s an essential skill for children with ADHD to navigate tasks, relationships, and challenges.

By modeling self-awareness, using structured tools like “Stop, Look, and Listen,” and encouraging reflection, you’re giving your child the tools they need to better understand themselves and their actions.