Being Mindful of and Attending to Your Child’s Independent Play

Independent play is an essential skill for children with ADHD—it helps them build focus, creativity, and self-confidence.

However, many kids with ADHD seek attention by misbehaving because they’ve learned it’s an effective way to get noticed.

By mindfully attending to your child during their independent play, you can show them that positive behaviors also earn your attention, fostering better habits and a stronger bond.

Why Attending to Independent Play Matters

• Reinforces Positive Behavior: Praising your child during calm, independent play teaches them that good behavior is noticed and valued.
• Builds Self-Esteem: Positive attention during play builds their confidence and encourages more constructive behavior.
• Reduces Misbehavior: When kids feel seen and appreciated, they’re less likely to act out for attention.

Tips for Attending to Independent Play

• Observe and Engage Briefly: Check in periodically during your child’s play to acknowledge their efforts.
  • Example: “Wow, you’re stacking those blocks so high—that’s awesome!”
• Give Specific Praise: Focus on what they’re doing well.
  • Example: “I love how you’re using so many colors in your drawing!”
• Be Genuinely Interested: Even a quick moment of focused attention can go a long way in showing your child you care.

When You Need to Focus on a Task

There are times when you need your child to play independently without interruptions. Here’s how to encourage their independence while still fostering positive behavior:

1. 1. Set Clear Expectations: Let your child know what you’re doing and how long you’ll need to focus.
      • Example: “I need 15 minutes to make a phone call. While I do that, I’d like you to build something with your Legos. I’ll check on you when I’m done.”
   2. Offer Choices: Let your child pick an activity they enjoy.
      • Example: “Would you like to color or play with your blocks while I cook dinner?”
   3. Check In Briefly: If possible, take a moment to acknowledge their efforts during your task.
      • Example: “You’re doing a great job playing quietly—thank you!”
   4. Use Visual Cues: A timer or visual schedule can help your child understand when they’ll have your full attention again.
      • Example: “When this timer rings, I’ll be ready to hear all about your game!”
   5. Create a Reward System: If they successfully play independently, reward them with a small treat, praise, or extra playtime with you later.
      • Example: “You played so nicely while I was on the phone—let’s play your favorite game together now!”